What we want and what we get


So why do we have good days and bad days? 

Some days can be filled with the overflow of euphoria and joy and others drenched in misery and sheer chaos. 

What changes from day to day that flips our moods so violently?

It is a worthwhile wondering to think perhaps that it is us personally who change from one day to next. Perhaps our thoughts and desires varied a little bit. Along with our expectations. Maybe we started a day with optimism and another with dark glasses. 

There is truth in this, that we all have a dynamic inner life. And flow from one mood to the next. Browsing through the endless variety of the emotional landscape. This is most certainly an obvious observation. But what is less obvious is the question of the person who is in charge of our mood? Am I in charge of my mood and my emotional expression at any one point in time. Do I just choose from a menu of emotions for myself from one moment to next. Not really!

Although it is true that we cruise through one emotional state to another, but we hardly choose what state we be in. 

We try to set the conditions right for the type of mood we would like to be in in the fast approaching future. We plan to have drinks with friends so we can hopefully entice ourselves to be happy for a moment. Or plan a dinner with family so that we can enjoy the company of our loved ones and feel good within The warmth that radiates from it. We sometimes even want to feel sorrow and listen to a sad song and reminisce within our minds about old memories and things that could have been better. And perhaps we still take joy which stems from this sorrow. 

It is a curious happening when one can derive pleasure from self induced sadness. But that is not the point here :)

I guess the point is that we don't really choose to be in a certain state of emotional undertaking. We can certainly wish to be in a good mood and simply just enjoy to be happy. However all we can do is strive for it. Wish it. Want it and set the stage for it, hoping that things will, fortune granting, fall in their rightful place and the circumstances will evolve to accommodate our wish of happiness and that others will comply and follow suit so that the play can go on as anticipated and the fruits of harmony can ripen. 

Yet, as Always there is, there are complications. Because hardly the world is a place which is working towards satisfying our personal desires. Yet, as they always are, other people have their own personal emotional agenda and they may not be synchronized to the same tune which you wished to dance to. 

So our expectations  hit obstacles along the way and we feel the friction between the wanted and the having gotten. Friction Between the wish and  what actually was delivered. 

We learn this as we grow and witness the pain of our desires being shattered and our expectations faltering  and our actions and circumstances misdelivering. 

So we learn to just accept and harden. We grow a thick outer shell made of a million disappointments. We learn to look away and turn away and just come to terms with the fact that we would not be given what we feel perfectly well entitled to. 

Some paths fail to satisfy we divert course or be a stubborn goat and try for a never ending breakthrough. And yet time flies and clock ticks away and the struggle continues and the wait gets prolonged and the goals are always within a ever nearing reach but never fully at hand. 

So we go on anyway. 

Where to and what for? To what end and through what means becomes forgotten questions of childhood curiosity. An old memory of when once we had genuine hope. Before everything turned into a slow grind into the mount impossible to attain. 

What if we just slowed down and reevaluate. What if we went back to the primal questions which we asked when we were children. What happens to the curiosity? And the wondering?

So that the point has been slow roasted to its maturity I hope that, we shall slow down, and stop and look around and ask a few tough questions. And try to grind into the answers before making our next effort and begin back into the routine. The same old promise of the never attained and the never delivered. 

Lets perhaps see things anew. Lets reconsider and take time to wonder and be lost in fiddling and the seriousness of curious play. 

Lets go back to the basics and see things as they really are without the veil and be paint and the ever alluring glitter. 

That is a worthy hypothesis and a virtuous objective and a noble undertaking for the human spirit.